Some co-workers just suck. One such loser, (I’ll just call him by his initials, K.M.) always discusses with other employees how he cannot stand me. In office converstions, I always overhear him talking about how I totally freak him out by wearing my black and white snowflake tie, suit liner, and socks year round. K.M. often comes to me with comments such as ”You know it’s August, right?”. He has also given me the moniker “Christmas Creep”, which, unfortunately has been picked up by several other associates.
It doesn’t end there. K.M. has also taken up trash talking my wife. He often ask me why she often visits me at work; no mystery here, her office is in this same building, so she comes around here in her spare time. K.M. hast also stated that I spend way too much time with Leila and never hang out with the other co-workers. I don’t know why that bothers him; she my spouse, for crying out loud — I guess he thinks I isolate myself too much from the rest of the employees.
All these events make K.M. a prime candidate for testing my genetically altered stomach virus. This pathogen was part of a science project that I help fund; in return I got a sample of the virus. According to the researcher who tested it on himself, this virus causes frequent vomiting for about 12 hours. Don’t worry about him vomiting his guts out —- the vomit amount is pretty low. All I need to do is just slip a little sample of the serum into his coffee cup.
I don’t have to worry about this pathogen spreading around the office. This little bug was designed not to be contagious like a regular stomach virus; the shape of the virus was changed for this trait to manifest. Shouldn’t worry about getting fired; the company needs my ideas— they’ll just find a way to cover it up.
—– Dr. Glace-Noire
Disclaimer: Genetically altering a virus (and its shape) to make it less or more contagious has been discussed in the scientific community for some time. Don’t worry about someone getting a nefarious idea from coming across this journal entry!
I hate zombies. All of them. They ruin a perfectly good evening under the stars. Here I am with my husband sitting on fold-up chairs by our car on some nice, quiet, dirt road. All of a sudden, I smell something like decaying flesh in the air. Then, out of the blue, ZOMBIES!
Zombies are like cockroaches, for everyone you see, there about 10 you don’t know about. No, I’m wrong, there about 100 you don’t know about. One zombie appears, and then BOOM, the whole horde just swarms the vicinity.
Like a thunderstorm, the best place to be safe from zombies is the automobile. Zombies are a bunch of empty shells that are too stupid to notice a live human in a car; they only notice the shape of the object. So when a whole horde of the ghouls just all a sudden show up, we waited it out in our auto.
Just when we thought the swarm had subsided, a few more zombies show up. I was so angry that this plague was not over; I instantaneously jumped out of the car and tore the zombies’ heads off with my lupine snout! Don’t worry about me getting infected with the zombie pathogen — a lycanthrope like me is immune to their diseased carcasses!
——- Leila Luna
Everyone talks about preventing the glaciers from melting, but how about creating one? It’s an interesting geoengineering concept, and some people have brought up the idea before. I’ve read about it in some articles and blogs, but these projects are usually on a pretty small scale and involve actions such as pumping water into a small space and letting it freeze during winter.
I thought of something more natural looking — it would still be small (the smallest glaciers are about a few hundred meters across) and would be a cirque glacier. This type of glacier is a hollow bowl shape in the mountains above the snowline; snow collects and builds up in this void. To build this type of glacier, an existing hole would have to be enlarged. It would take several years for the snow and ice to start creeping downhill and about ten years for the glacier to fully form. This might sound like a long time, but keep in mind many glaciers take centuries to manifest (the decade length formation span is based on some fast emerging glaciers in Iceland).
So what would be the upside of a man made glacier? Well it could be a nice tourist attraction, or a great nearby source for bottled water. Something to consider when I present this idea at the next geoengineering conference.
—– Dr. Tony E. Glace-Noire
Note: This post will probably be removed soon; I want this comic strip to focus on more traditional mad science projects. Thought it was a nice idea to mention, though.
Words of caution: Never handle anything that has recently been dipped in liquid nitrogen with your bare hands! Always use gloves!
Yeah, it’s pretty gross to place jars with a heart and a brain right next to food storage containers. But remember, this is a kitchen that belongs to a mad scientist and a werewolf!
Having a snowflake on a mug might seem contradictory, but they are on the mainstream market; I saw several different kinds of them in the stores during the holiday season.
P.S. : I wanted to do a comic with zombies, but I found out the idea I had in mind has already been used several times.
It was only a matter of time that Dr. Glacenoire, the mad scientist, would encounter a vampire.
So when will Dr. Glacenoire and Leila Luna (his wolfish spouse) encounter zombies? Well, I’m working on it.
P.S. : In these comic strips, vampires, like werewolves, cannot transfer their “curse” by a bite or other really close contact.